A never ending battle, a legalized crime, a civil movement for a right to live - racism as they call it, is the discrimination between white and black. Few countries advanced in including a couple of favorable laws for those with darker skin tone. But what about the mind set change? Can they ever achieve it?
In the Indian context, I want to change all those color blinded hearts and minds that usually demean and undermine the dark colored. Generations passed by and I still notice concerned mothers pleading their dark skinned daughters to apply a fairness cream. I would have better understood skin nourishment, but not this fairness mania.
A stigma engulfs when a dark baby enters this world and it worsens if it is a dark female child. What on earth is stopping the child to grow normally as others?
Have they ever considered our geographical-tropical locale of the country that lies next to equator? The ever darkening skies induced by UVB-radiation resulting in the production of melanin. Now, this pigmentation is sent down to generations without the knowledge of the future borns. Whom do I blame?
Fuelling the fire are the super-creative commercials that go on to label the dark as losers. They must be banned ruthlessly in the lieu of Complexion insult or discrimination.
Next, comes the clan of dreaming-big grooms who want nothing less than a super-fair lady. I agree looks matter to a few, but what is it to do with super-fairness shade?
It is unfortunate that many still look at the dark melanin in the foreground, neglecting the bright intellect in the background. I seriously wish to see a change in frame of mind that embraces black as white.
A good friend shared her son's picture and he seemed a bundle of joy, a magician who erases his mom's stress with just one trick - SMILE!
I am in awe of all Working mothers who juggle and make things possible. Multitasking is their second name and they go out of their way to make ends meet. Ends here mean emotional bonding, caretaking, networking and many more different facets of today's emotional needs. What is the secret of such super women?
After a harrowing day, what energizes her - An innocent and unconditional smiling face of her child! That’s the fragrance of motherhood, which never fades and keeps her going seamlessly. A Marriage needs a partner, but Motherhood is totally an independent possession and asset sometimes.
I know of women who care and bring up their children and the family without the support of the Official Bread maker - Man in the family. Demise, Divorce, no matter what the reason is for the absence of the partner, a woman never resigns from her duties for her child. Here are few living inspirations...
A mother of two, separated from a brutally abusive partner after a long battle and is working full-time to feed the family and raise her teenage sons. She suffers from acute spondylitis with ruthless menopause symptoms kicking in, but never have I found her being gloomy. She is an ocean of peace and humor and has made a firm choice to stay put with the circumstances that never seem to favor her. I am talking about the recent convulsion attacks of her eldest son, who apparently won over it and stood at 25th rank in the International English Olympiad. He is a novelist in making and a computer geek at heart. Notwithstanding the raising stress, she reached her next career milestone and now is a budding entrepreneur.
A mother of 1 and a step-mother of 3, with the loving husband passing away in a painful accident. She shouldered the responsibility of four little ones of 4, 8, 10, 12 ages in order. In spite of being a second mother to 3 kids, she never drew a line and has protected the nest with small income. The kids grew up and flew away, abandoning the mother and her child to destiny. She restarted her journey to pull up the last child with same vigor as before and you never find her complaining about life.
A mother of a mentally challenged son, whose husband went into bout of depression for 20 years and could not earn any money for the family. She never gave up fighting for her child and husband. She works restlessly and loves them unconditionally. She spent her entire income in treating these two men in her life and never thought of saving a penny for her future. You talk to her and you will acknowledge a wealth of humility and humanity, as she trains many such mothers who struggle to make a life for their challenged children.
I have quoted 3 different cases of great single mothers, who have been continuously demonstrating the epitome of Motherhood without any expectation from life, while carving a niche for themselves and finding super-bliss in their children. I was speechless after meeting these extraordinary individuals who never let any fear, flaw or foe dampen their spirit. Wake up! they are among us and may be within us :-)
Many asked me about my UK trip and I usually replied “it was good and a new experience”. Well, there is lot of more than that crisp reply.
This happens to be my 1st foreign land experience, which goes on to indicate a lot of perspective revelations. I am sure, this could have been same else where...since, it is my 1st out-of-home experience after growing up in a protected and well-facilitated setup, I can see a different frame of mind.
My 4 month UK trip was worth its idleness, for it gave me abundant time to introspect myself and my relationships! I must admit, life made me stronger. Perhaps, the fearless independence smeared by the foreign land rubbed on the right side of my soul and I am able to realize this change even more, after coming back to India. I am able to communicate in a clearer and patient tone…may be I learned the value of few close kin and kith, whom I otherwise neglected!
My practical revelations in brief…
You....
Survive without a 2 or 4 wheeler in a larger-than-life city
Live out of Suitcases - literally
Eat and party out of 2 (2 containers, 2 plates and 2 coffee mugs)
Cook less, Cook wise!
Excel at cuisines (that you never dared to touch back home)
Befriend your laptop or computer, for it becomes your greatest asset
Update your movie database with the possible new Indian movies (even before their official release)
Plan and then explore (Taking some time to plan your journey is always worth the money)
Research for good deals (Check the offers at numerous stores and sites, and then buy a product at a significant less)
Manage your times and daily chores without a maid (Grown self-reliant, you see!!)
Keep in touch (Friends are precious and everything, be sincere to keep in touch)
Miss your people (You start missing and loving your people back home more than ever)
Thank God and be happy for a 1 week job contract!
Believe in the power of discounts :) - They are worth it
Lot more hidden facts prevail at the top of mind, which are better experienced than said!
Tsunami has swallowed thousands of people and swept away many many villages in Japan. The aftermath will be irrecoverable due to loss of life, severe injuries, homelessness, lack of water, food and proper medical care, the physical destruction of towns and cities and so on. Even if the sea-quake victims struggle to pave their way through the tidal leftovers, the nuclear impact is deadly due to its radioactive contamination.
At first, the earth shook the land, then the water, which blew up with enormous velocity washing away the northern Japan and now affecting the Nuclear plants. I am more concerned about the radioactive discharge that can disable the people around for their lifetime, without giving them a second chance to recoup the tragedy. Japanese are awe-inspiring due to their tireless efforts to rebuild the country after Hiroshima tragedy. Now, it will take few generations again for them to recreate their magic.
At Japan, such a deadly disaster was natural and inevitable by the victims, but how come we can see man-made tsunamis. We live in a place(city: hyderabad), where we usually do not face natural calamities other than water shortage and excess temperature and we still create a ruckus for land separation and mess up our lives.
Yes, I am referring to Telangana issues that are shaking Hyderabad with more rigour than an earthquake. Pragmatically, we do not need an earthquake to tremble our lives as we are quite capable of creating one. When life can be turned beautiful with the availability of resources and amenities, our politicians are busy digging the land in the name of state separation. Do they even realize the impact of such activities?
At one end of spectrum, I find Japan fighting with nature to alleviate anymore damage and at the other end; the pro-telangana activists are forcefully damaging the existing heritage to the core. The Million March was a big disappointment for its unfortunate violence on Tankbund. I am questioning only the common sense and not patriotism of these people. Here, Mother Nature has blessed us with a protective landscape or a safe geographical position and we are hell bent on stirring ripples in still waters. How ironical!
Disclaimer: This blog does not intend to promote BBC and is aimed at Doordarshan(DD) fans of India!
Once upon a time, DD was the only retreat in our lives, before any of the much raved DTH entered our homes. I so vividly remember the glorious DD programs that were few in number, but were quite good and the choice of programs aired was also very healthy and informative. In contrast to the contemporary emotionally draining soaps or faking reality shows, the then programs were worth a re-watch.
Coming back to my metaphoric title, I am actually watching the Doordarshan of UK i.e. BBC. Thanks to my landlady who blessed us with a licensed Toshiba color TV and by licensed, I meant it is antennae-ted and can pick up few free BBC channels. I am sure you are aware that BBC is not confined to news and telecasts few wonderfully informative and gripping programs. Since these are redeemed free, we can watch up to 5 or 6 channels.
I usually turn on the TV in the evenings for a couple of hours and it is a learning time every day. Few programs that intrigued me are Mary Portas-secret shopper, Documentaries (Big fat gypsy weddings, Bear Family and me, Beauty and Beast), Star gazing live, Will crash diet kill me, Rome was not built in a day. Sheffield diaries and so on. All these programs are well crafted and we can clearly identify the research and hard work gone behind to present a piece of information in an innovative way.
For a matter of fact, they cover a variety of subjects, not limiting to beauty or sports or health letting the viewers transcend the horizons of traditional needs and interests. Moreover, most of them are real reality-shows and truly entertain the dormant souls, sometimes leaving you mesmerized with beautiful facts and life stories. Every channel airs a quick (10-minute) news update once in every 2-3 hours keeping us updated and not over killing us with god forsaken reports.
Talking about the kids programs (CBBC), they are authentically kids oriented and one will be amazed at how information can be instilled depending upon the IQ levels. For example, a history related show known as Horrible Histories, which aims to teach children about the atrocities and mayhem of Kings across the globe, is presented in a humorous fashion ensuring only to teach and not send any hard emotions. I appreciate the learning and content teams behind such programs that carefully mold the masterpieces without breaking hearts.
Regardless of the program, the script used to narrate is very simple to decipher without confusing the viewer. Another vital aspect is the prelude of a show before its start, letting us decide if we would want to watch the forthcoming program or not. Also, considers the parental control so as to prevent kids from watching strong content if any.
In the weekends, one or two channels dedicate at airing famous Hollywood movies and I truly look forward to them. This was so similar to my childhood, when I used wait for the regional movie on DD on Sundays.
Now, this was only a vague overview of the daily dose of TV from BBC and can comprise many more valuable programs.
Please bear in mind that the programs mentioned above are viewed for free just like our DD and continue to be seen the way they are. Routing this TV interest to India, where is our national broadcaster gone these days? Unsure of the reasons behind DD's lost charm, I wonder if we have neglected our own channel and are burning pockets for dish TV!
This is not a platform to debate on why DD has gone down, but I am only asking is there a way that DD can shine and hail again? After all, most of the rural India still relies on this long forgotten channel for its quota of entertainment. So, I question the readers of this post to present their views on how we can bring back our national infotainment beacon?
I am certain, under creative and enthusiastic management DD can bounce back with more of Nukkad, Surabhi, Lifeline, Junglebook, Shriman shrimati, Malgudi days, Tippu Sultan, Chitrahaar, Spirit of Unity , Shanthi etc., that were classic and versatile and once made a positive difference in our lives!
Before we delve into why I need Sun, let me introduce the only country with an adjective before its name. Yes, am talking about the Great Britain and I am based out of London. Life here can be described as cold, colder and coldest, where cold is considered as warm with a partial sunny day. During cold days, Mr.Sun unveils himself for brief intervals gracing few cold sun rays on us. Because the rays are cold by nature, its just a disguise in the name of proclaimed "Sunny day"!
If I have to step out of the house, I am to be covered (read: buried) under 4 to 5 layers of fleece clothing, only to feel cold again. I sometimes dare the chills by not wearing my gloves only to find later that my palms have numbed for the next few minutes.
The temperature varies between 0 to 2 degrees, with occasional blessing in disguise of 4 and often plummeting to sub-zero!
As the saying goes, "Sun never sets in Britain"..man, its never even seen to decide if it is dawn or dusk. Around 9 am, one gets to experience the mildly bright sun light to certify it as Morning and even before we take the course of life for the rest of the day, it sets to dark at a gross afternoon of 3 to 4 -ish!
An optimistic activity that is widely acclaimed in cold countries is “Making a snow-man”! Now, what else can you do on a snowy day where flakes are showering profusely not letting you walk out on the icy - slippery roads? This Government has apparently gone poor at salt supplies to clear the sleets. Initially, it excited me to watch the snow fall with a cup of masala chai, but bored me to death to watch the white painted city, as it forbids us going anywhere and further disables the public transport too. Yes, it leaves us with a fantastic opportunity to click some amazing picturesque photographs of the snow-capped streets and trees.
Blame it on London's geographic position or the early arctic winds from i-don-remember ocean, the climate is just sick and is known to cause SAD(Seasonal Affective Disorder) with the winter blues kicking in rapidly. Being an Indian, I adore the balance of climate and temperature back home, excluding the water hazards of floods.
Yet, another complication we are blessed with is the absence of the sunshine vitamin. Yes, the skin is deprived of Vitamin D and loses its supple life. Many medical and cosmetic substitutes are piled up in the superstores to draw as many customers, making it a big business thing.
So, what do I do when its cold? I usually spend my time near the heaters installed in every room. You can imagine the amount of electricity consumption, given more than 7,556,900 people.
The locals just do not care of the winds and we can often notice them in shrimpy outfits. I am mostly amazed at how do they withstand such cold situations, when am freezing in spite of layered clothing? Another clan that usually dares cold is kids. Children below 5 years are dressed minimal and often commuted in perambulators. These kids bask in the glory of winters and don’t feel a tad cold. Can you beat that?
Probably, the Sun himself must be shivering by the dropped temperatures and hence is unable to wake up from bed?
To conclude, in spite of my winter woes, I would still say London is brilliant in lot more ways and climate is just a speck. People are fighting against the blues to make it a great place to live!
Before I set out introducing this friend, I want you to walk along with me in the memory lane of my childhood days.
Until the age of 6, I grew up in a small town called Dowaleswaram near Rajahmundry, in Government Quarters that housed the Irrigation department staff. The quarters offered single bedroomed houses with a spacious frontyard. My Mom and granny grew a nice kitchen and floral garden in the frontyard and amidst this, Dad had created a tree-swing with long ropes and wooden seat. I used to water and clean the garden regularly with few friends. When we got bored, we would start swinging on our tree-swing in doubles and talk out of bounds about everything under sun.
The friends I referred to just now included Harsha, Bulli, and Jyoti. We are of same age and used to hang out together. Another kid in the block of our age, but never ventured out of his house was Bharadwaj. He was a very different child who never went to school, never spoke to anyone, always parents-stricken and seemed so aloof to the rest of the world. Once or twice a week, we made regular trips to his place to pull him out for our silly hide n seek or catch-catch games. He was the 1st one to get caught or get out of the game for unknown reasons then. He seemed abnormal and we were very tender to sense this.
In the course of life, all of us were separated and headed to different places in the state. After few years, we found that Bharadwaj was blessed with a sibling and they have migrated to Hyderabad. So, my family paid a visit and I had the revelation of my life.
I was told that Bharadwaj is a mentally challenged child with moderate mental retardation. At that age of 10 something, I was not deeply disturbed to see him, but was surely moved to see my friend being disabled in every aspect and had to bank on his Mom for basic chores. He was to be instructed and assisted at every move; such was the level of retardation in him.
Years passed by and I forgot about him until recently, when their family visited us. I met him after ages and was so happy I did. Although, he still leads life as a mentally challenged person, he has been trained to take care of himself and socialize mildly. He remembers very few people and very fundamental information about his life. To my surprise, he remembers our gang. Not by each name, but by the memory of someone called a friend. The moment I met him, I couldn’t resist hugging him and he hasn’t once left my hand in the entire meeting. Though he spoke only 2 phrases (how are you visali, when are you coming to my house), I knew by heart that he just loves being with me. He was smiling constantly as if everything was so rosy in his life and was willing to gel with us.
His Mom has undergone this training of a counselor to deal with kids of special needs and has carved a niche for her own child by coaching him in vocational jobs. Going a little further, she has established an NGO for such kids coming from lower income families. She happens to be a telugu medium graduate, who went leaps beyond her capability to untangle the knots of not just her own life, but others too. I was only more than proud to see her spread the fragrance of humanity.
Today, Bharadwaj speaks whatever is required, knows how to eat, how to dress and behave in a group. He apparently handles book binding and paper-cover making with elan. Now, isn’t that something from a retarded person?
Meeting them left me brooding on the knots that we create and get trapped in, instead of feeling privileged with a life of fully functional brain and heart. On this note, I would like to share the details of this school for mentally challenged children, which is run by donations.
Pragati School for Reformation of Mentally Challenged, 1-6-39/100/1, Sri Venkata Sai Nagar Colony, West Venkatapuram, Secunderabad. Ph # 64635664, 9246278109.
Do pay a visit to meet the gifted children and I guarantee infinite satisfaction about life!
Recently, one of my good old friends bashed me badly about my ideas on life on her personal blog. Her criticism was so strong that the words shook me, as this same lady apparently was once well-appreciative of the same ideas. I was upset for a moment and approached another friend for a shoulder to cry. This sensible friend has just said one thing, “Forget that you have actually read something like that”. Well, though it sounded silly at that minute, it surely did work after few hours. I tuned myself to have forgotten about the blog I read that morning. I only treated it as an accident which is to be neglected as a speck. But, this fix was only temporary and I needed something stronger to be oblivious to this whole incident of criticism. I’ve introspected my feelings and wanted to ease them. I thought of several ways to clear this clutter in my mind. My options were –
Call that blogger and give it back
Comment harshly as anonymous
Blog in response and lash back
Get this sorted through a common friend
Bitch about this lady
I was happy with none, as I always believe Tit for Tat was not for friends and it was meant only to rotten the bond further. So what was I supposed to do with this unpleasantness that is draining and demoralizing me, without hurting the critic? Read on to know what I tried…
I have avoided her completely (even the passive friendship I ever thought of got scrapped). This option disconnected us physically or virtually. This has not only freed me from her updates or blogs, but has made it easy for me to forget her. But what about the unhealed hurt which I just masked? I tried this old-school medicine called Forgiveness. It pained when I applied, but over the days the wound got healed.
If you are reading this blog, you may think of it as another pep-blog boasting some self-help tips. But take it from me, there is nothing like forget and forgive. Its tried and tested!!!
Post your thoughts on what you would have done if you wore my shoes!!
