Recently, one of my good old friends bashed me badly about my ideas on life on her personal blog. Her criticism was so strong that the words shook me, as this same lady apparently was once well-appreciative of the same ideas. I was upset for a moment and approached another friend for a shoulder to cry. This sensible friend has just said one thing, “Forget that you have actually read something like that”. Well, though it sounded silly at that minute, it surely did work after few hours. I tuned myself to have forgotten about the blog I read that morning. I only treated it as an accident which is to be neglected as a speck. But, this fix was only temporary and I needed something stronger to be oblivious to this whole incident of criticism. I’ve introspected my feelings and wanted to ease them. I thought of several ways to clear this clutter in my mind. My options were –
Call that blogger and give it back
Comment harshly as anonymous
Blog in response and lash back
Get this sorted through a common friend
Bitch about this lady
I was happy with none, as I always believe Tit for Tat was not for friends and it was meant only to rotten the bond further. So what was I supposed to do with this unpleasantness that is draining and demoralizing me, without hurting the critic? Read on to know what I tried…
I have avoided her completely (even the passive friendship I ever thought of got scrapped). This option disconnected us physically or virtually. This has not only freed me from her updates or blogs, but has made it easy for me to forget her. But what about the unhealed hurt which I just masked? I tried this old-school medicine called Forgiveness. It pained when I applied, but over the days the wound got healed.
If you are reading this blog, you may think of it as another pep-blog boasting some self-help tips. But take it from me, there is nothing like forget and forgive. Its tried and tested!!!
Post your thoughts on what you would have done if you wore my shoes!!
Simple solutions..
People come into your life for a reason and stay for a season. When time is up, they just walk away.. familiar?? :) I am sure you will recall the text we exchanged...
Think of the nice times we spent with people... Take time to dismiss off the unpleasantries, just like u would clear ur hand bag or wallet once in a while... you have the right to get upset or angry, but ensure that all these are external to you and deserve no more than thirty min of your precious time.
If she has a problem with your views or ideas about life, let her express them.. Well, everyone in this world has a right to express their opinions. remember, no one, just no one in this world has the final verdict on anything :)
Whoever said, whatever they said, is not GOD.
Right and Wrong in my opinion, are just perceptions. What seems right to me, might be wrong or incorrect to someone else. What seems correct to me today, might seem incorrect tomorrow to my own self. People might call me indecisive, but that is only until they have to get into the same mode...
Dont know if I am able to convey my point of just letting opinions of people be....I must say, you should chill a bit.. I know it hurts when it comes from someone very close.. what cannot be mended has to be discarded... what can be mended has to be kept with care in future. that is the simplee rule.
After all, people are made up of minds and minds are governed by circumstances.. and circumstances churn emotions... and when emotions get to your mind, it stops thinking:) Simple law of life.. There is no point in talking logic to an emotional mind and no point in talking emotions to a logical mind... and our minds can change stances anytime... Just think of these points and see what you can decide... I have given up trying to reason out to people.. honestly there is no point in spending too much time explaining our logic which is almost always different from the other person's. :)
I knoww its a long rant.. but didnt have patience to open my mail box.
Cheer up and keep writing for those who still care to know about ur view points towards things...
After all what matters is how u feel writing what you feel.. :) Any comment on ur work is a boost and a bonus to ur already happy mind.:)
Love,
Dew